Life & The Universe

What if life and the universe doesn't give you what you think it does? What if being a person means not giving yourself wholeheartedly or even giving 100% of yourself into whatever it is you believe in? These are the things I'm trying to figure out as an adult. What if fitting into other peoples perceptions isn't what you think you should be doing but you do it because of societal expectations? What if what I'm saying isn't even making sense to you today?

Like I said, this is something I'm trying to tackle in life. What if the challenges we are faced are designed specifically for us, as individuals? Like feeling something for someone but the other person i'snt ready to accept the feelings for the other person. Life is hard. Life is demanding. Life is not getting up every morning at six am and going to school or work doing something that you think is not  important to you as an individual. Life can be using that hard knowledge or money to prepare you for what life throws at you.

For me, life has already thrown some pretty big curveballs. I know I probably sound like most white girls but it's true. You just have to trust that you and your destiny will be fine in the end. This is something that I am learning currently. I am learning to be okay with the situations I am placed in. If i ever feel that life, or my mind  is trying to distract me from what my future has in store. I come back to a place of thought that " hey, life knows what its doing, it knows who I'm turning out to be. I will be just fine" Suddenly with that I feel totally better about everything from my romantic life to my educational career and dreams. Fantasies are just what our minds and at times, heart really wants. It's using those fantasies to help drive us to what life wants us to be.

Lets say, for example. My heart tells me I like someone, alot of the time the fantasy of what the heart wants isn't always right at the time. But I tell the guy i like that i like him anyway. There could be 3 options
1. He tells me I'm spastic and never wants to see me again
2. He accepts the way I feel and reciprocates those feelings
3. We have many intelligent conversations and eventually he likes me because of those conversations.

Life will always throw us options and curveball but the choices we make have already been decided for us. Its up to us to recognise what life and the universe has in store for us and not what you think you want from it.

|Sia 2014,Hello 2015|

Happy New Year!

Thats what I should have told you all about.. 15-ish days ago but never the less. I hope you all had a wonderful start to 2015. I know I did

I don't know if you've all seen or heard Sia's new music video, Elastic Heart. You know the one with Maddie Ziegler from Dance Moms and Shia LaBeouf. There is all sorts of controversy surrounding this video saying that its "pedophilia" and "morally wrong"

Now I'm not saying those people labelling the video this way are wrong but even Sia herself apologised

Obviously Sia knew the some of the public were going to react to the video this way. She's a smart cookie. Perhaps she planned this "controversy" as publicity.....

In all honesty, this video just is another episode in her series of bringing her repressed emotions to the surface. Is she doing a bad thing? No, definitely not. People bring themselves out in different ways. They work through the negative or positive in different mediums. I do it by writing and acting. Sia does it by music and through her videos. It's no different if you're having an issue and want to forget about your past by talking to a therapist in order to move on. IT'S JUST A DIFFERENT WAY OF DOING THINGS. Sia's way is a bit more public than most, but if its a benefit to both her and us as a society, not hurting her as a person in any way I say YOU GO SIA GURL! 

She makes damn good music and why would she stop? Because a minority of people label her MUSIC VIDEOS with negative connotations. She'd be an idiot to stop making music for that reason. 

In my opinion, I love 1000 Forms of Fear and I love what Sia's doing. She's making music, yes she's making a statement but she's doing it in the right way. WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE. I think elastic heart has beautiful lyrics and a great unusual beat thats awesome to jam in the car to. The video for the song has so many levels that deep down can relate to everyone. I mean who hasn't had inner struggle or family struggles. 

My final statement people need to stop overreacting about a MUSIC VIDEO. There is certainly worse things in the world happening today. If you have an issue with music video just simply don't watch. ITS REALLY THAT EASY.  

To Sia; I love what you're doing. You are evolving as an artist ( although I will admit my favourite song of yours is Breathe Me... that song makes me weep) You don't need me to publicise you but I this was something I needed to say to the rest of the world to get it off my chest. 

Tell me what you think

Twitter: @Beepopx

until next time,

xoxo Belle 

|Catch- up|

Hey everyone,

The Christmas season is upon us and that means one thing. Money! No I'm totally kidding by the way. Christmas is a time of reflection and seeing what we can do to make the upcoming year better than the last. It also means stuffing your face and seeing family that you only see once a year for a catch up. 

Speaking of catch up. I know I promised a new post every Friday but sometimes that may not happen because.. I HAVE A JOB!! I know, I know its new information for you all to process but this is something in my life that is a big step in me becoming "an adult" earning money. Seeing my pay go in for the work I do(which is waitressing at a restaurant.. I'm not telling you all which one but pigs are involved) seeing my pay go in is such a good feeling because I know how hard I've worked for it and how hard i will continue to work and for that it makes me feel amazing. 

I work with a lot of amazing people all with different interests and I feel like I fit in well with them. It's a different kind of feeling then trying to fit in in school. It just happened naturally at work, not to say that I don't see or don't wanna see the people I spent most of my life with because they will always mean a lot to me. You never forget those people and you also never forget your first job and the people you meet there and I certainly won't forget the people I work with. 

Christmas is also a time for reflection. I got my HSC results and I wasn't please with my result. I'm my own worst enemy and I was certainly hard on myself for my results in the HSC. My dad, was also hard on me but there was a little light at the end of the tunnel. I got a uni offer which is absolutely amazing and was just a massive sigh of relief to know that a university wants me to study with them. 

2015 seems to be a big year, even bigger than 2014 with so many changes coming. I swear that i will also have a schedule to write. I won't ever forget about this little project. I'm already working on some special posts that I think you will like. 

My question for you all; What is your biggest accomplishment of 2014? 

Tweet me your answers I'd LOVE to know 

@Beepopx

xoxo Belle 

| News |

Hey,

I have good news and bad news
The good news is ...
I will be on an actually schedule starting NEXT WEEK!
That means every Friday be prepared for a post on anything from lessons I'm learning to experiences I'm having or even just random fun stuff that is not thought provoking and making you be all smart and philosophical. SO YAY!

Here Comes the somewhat bad news
In an attempt to make my blog more appealing to more readers I will be updating the structure and format of the blog site. Until I find the right design for the site, the site may change in color, format or any other web design terminology. Don't worry if you come to this site once and it changes to something completely different the next time you come. I'm doing a trial design of different designs until I find the right design that fits the blog itself.

In other news..
I FINISHED MY HSC EXAMS !
I TURN 18 on NOVEMBER 7th !
I HAVE A TWITTER IN WHICH YOU CAN CONTACT ME AND SEE WHAT I'M UP TO @Beepop_x

xoxo
Belle

Changes

Hey,

Does anyone other than me hate change? Is it human nature to want to change or not change? I'm going through a lot of changes at the moment that I'm starting to accept but there is still that little struggle of accepting the fact that things are not what they used to be. I mean if we, as a society can change from being in the 90s into a new millennium than the transition from being a child to a grown up shouldn't be that hard. But it is.   

This year in particular has been about change. At school I heard about it on a daily basis but I don't think it's really hit me untill now. I don't know how to feel about it. 

For me personally my whole life is changing; I finished high school and am 90% complete with my exams. I turn 18 next week. The prospect of me knowing that I'm not going to be the same person I am now excites me but also scares me. Knowing that my initial plan for performing arts university may not happen for another year is scary but I've accepted it and changed my plans so that I can Audtion next year when I'm much more rounded as a performer. I'll be able to sing stronger and dance better  but I think that if the course I applied for doesn't have me then I can work and earn money In order to get better in my field. That's the one thing I've accepted. 

I'm still a fighter! the passion for the stage will never die within me and I'll get to that stage it just may take an extra year, that's all.

One thing I haven't accepted is that I'm going to be 18 years old. A legal adult. Yes I can drink and vote  (because I live in Australia)  but I don't feel like I'm turning 18, I still honestly feel 14. In planning this big milestone I haven't had a lot of things go my way. My dad has had a lot of input in the party and at times it frustrates me. Then I think well people are going to remember the day not went behind it. I forget that this is hard on him too. I am the baby of the family. I don't think I'll feel what he feels untill I have children myself but I'm sure everything's okay. Letting go is never easy but it is for the benefit of all involved  that it happens. 

Change is scary and things don't always go your way but it's those who are strong enough to accept it are the ones who are happiest in the end 

xoxo Belle

Busy busy bee

Hey all, 

I'm really sorry I haven't been blogging lately I've just been swamped with emotions and things to do. Let me catch you up on what happened over the last 3 months. 

1. I graduated high school. I graduated with happiness and proudness and also sadness. I know it's just the first step in my new chapter of becoming an adult. I had the people I love most there with me celebrating and I'm glad they were there. 

2. I started my HSC exams. It's been so stressful dealing with these exams that "determine my future". I've only done 3 (at the point of publication) exams and I think I've done okay. It's the relearning of the content that takes the most time. Nightmares and mental breakdowns really get to a person and even though it's not really going to define the rest of my life, I know it is the step to start recognising my limits as a human being and that's okay. I'm accepting of the fact that I will get to my dream eventually. 

3. Speaking of future I have additionally worked out universities that I want to audition for. So far I've applied to audition for 6 different programs revolving around music theatre or theatre in general. I'm excited about the prospects if I'm going to one of these schools to further my training. 

Sorry if it seems like a short post. Studies are keeping me real busy. I have some exciting posts planned for after the 5th of November( my last exam day) 

xoxo belle 

Goals

Hey all, 

Sorry it's been a while since the last post been really busy. Since our last talk I've done 40% of my final drama exams. My monologue was a hit. I made the markers laugh and I hope the marks reflect how much work I put Into it. My group performance was also quite amazing... Even though they asked us to start again because they couldn't see our faces. We didn't get penalised for it (THANK GOD!) but I'm positive that we did the best job that we could and I hope our marks really reflect that. I also went to see Glenn St theatres production of The Removalists it was good, it was a very different interpretation to what I've seen in the past but it was still interesting to watch. 

Apart from that I've really just been getting results from my trial exams and i think that I could of handled them better and my marks reflect that (our timetable was really screwed up.. I had seven exams in the first five days. Cheers for that organisers!) It doesn't matter what the marks are I'm just motivated to do better (especially in the two subjects I really have the most potiential to get a band six in ) Everyone hits a slump in their life. But this is not the time  to stop working .we are constantly told not to give up and to keep going. We are almost there. But where are we going university? Tafe? Workforce? What if the plans we always had are not realistic goals? 

For me it's always been "I want to be an actor " but I'm only now realising how scary the dream can truly be. I know in my heart how much I'm willing to work and sacrifice to get to my dream but just in the last couple of weeks I'm coming to the conclusion that you can't always take the direct route to you dreams sometimes life will send you the scenic route and that's okay. 

I'm terrified of what's gonna happen from now until December 18th when the results come out but I know that the number will not define my life and my goals. I think that a lot of people forget that it's just a number it doesn't define the rest of your life. If you work hard and are passionate and forget the fear then nothing stands in your way of getting to your goals. 

I know I'll get to them one way or another and if life decides to take me the scenic route then I'll enjoy the journey. I'd rather be happy then be doing something that I hate. I think that's the real goal. Happiness 

xoxo Belle